Stephanie Shott

"All right then, the Lord himself will give you the sign. Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son and will call him Immanuel (which means ‘God is with us’)." Isaiah 7:14

In the Old Testament, the Lord promised King Ahaz that He would give His people a sign. The sign was not only the blessing of the birth of the Messiah, but it was also the promise of His presence. It was all wrapped up in the name "Immanuel".

In the New Testament, we find the fulfillment of that promise lying in a manger and wrapped in swaddling clothes. His name was Jesus - and He is Immanuel.

"All of this occurred to fulfill the Lord’s message through his prophet: “Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel,which means ‘God is with us.’”

I can think of no more penetrating truth than the fact that God is with us. He is not some distant being who has plopped us down on planet earth to try to figure this thing out on our own. He hasn't left us here without hope or direction. He is with us.

There's an unmistakeable comfort in the fact that the God who spoke this world into being is personally involved in our lives and assures us of His presence no matter what we're going through. There's also an unshakeable reality that His presence calls us to live holy lives. Knowing we can't escape the view of God reminds us of our ultimate accountability to Him. But it also enourages our fearful and hurting hearts to know we are not alone. We have never escaped the view of God - not even for a second.

I'm not sure where you are in this season of your life? Perhaps you're afraid, lonely or feel as if you're invisible. I want you to know that God is with you. You are not alone - not even for a second. Curl up at your Savior's feet and allow Him to lift you up and wrap His loving arms around you. He loves you with an ever lasting love. You are enscribed on the palm of His hand. You are the apple of His eye and the affection of His heart. He is with you.

Like the disciples in Matthew 8 who feared they would be swallowed up by the sea, Jesus is with you to speak peace to your storm and to speak peace to your heart in the midst of your storm.

Perhaps you need to be reminded that He is with you because you're dabbling with sin and His presence is a reminder that it's not worth it. I pray you will listen to the still small voice that may be calling you away from that which will never satisfy to that which will never let you down.

We don't always know how to do this thing called life. We don't always get it right. We struggle with living well. But God is with us (Immanuel), my friend. And that's all we need to know.

What does God's presence mean to you? Have you been feeling far from God lately? I would count it an honor to pray for you.

I'm so excited about this series and taking the time to get to know Jesus more. He is Immanuel and so much more. I hope you'll subscribe and join me in this journey.

I love almost all things Christmas. But rather than only getting caught up in the hustle and bustle of it all - this year, I want to get caught up in knowing Jesus more. I hope you will subscribe and join me in my journey to know Him more.

Have you ever wondered how it is that God has always been? Does it boggle your mind that He is eternal? No beginning - no end - He just is and has always been and will always be.

In our finite concept of all that is, we can only imagine that everything must have had a beginning at some point and time. The reality is that all that exists not only has a beginning but it also has an end. Everything with the exception of God.

So, what does it all mean? In today's post, we're going to explore the richness of the reality that He is the Alpha and Omega.

The title, Alpha and Omega speaks to many characteristics of the Living God. First, it defines Jesus as the eternal Ruler of all that is. He is without beginning; He is without end. He has no equal; He has no need of anything or anyone. He is God.

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, says the Lord God, He Who is and Who was and Who is to come, the Almighty (the Ruler of all). Revelation 1:8 (Amplified)

His eternal title also affirms His deity. He is not a created being, He is the Creator of all beings. He did not come into existence, He spoke all things into existence. He is God.

Thus says the LORD, the King of Israel and his Redeemer, the LORD of hosts: 'I am the first and I am the last, And there is no God besides Me. Isaiah 44:6

As the Alpha and Omega, He holds all things together. He is the beginning and the end. In Isaiah 41:4 we find the Old Testament counterpart to Revelation 1:8 declaring the Lord to be eternal.

Who has prepared and done this, calling forth and guiding the destinies of the generations [of the nations] from the beginning? I, the Lord--the first [existing before history began] and with the last [an ever-present, unchanging God]--I am He. (Amplified)

In the Greek, Alpha (A) is the first letter of the alphabet and Omega (Ω) is the last. In English, it would be similar to referring to someone as A and Z. The first and the last. Letters that serve as bookends which hold everything else together. Without them, nothing else makes sense. With them, everything is complete.

Jesus is that for us. He completes us. He is not only the One who holds our lives together, He is why our lives make sense.

"and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority" Colossians 2:10

"For in him we live and move and have our being." Acts 17:28

Today, you may be facing some very difficult days. Perhaps your circumstances cry out for clarity and your heart may be overwhelmed. But the Alpha and Omega can make sense out of that which makes no sense at all. He is the matchless Creator of the universe who holds the world together. Don't you think He can hold your little world together too!

Dear one, He loves you with a love that is as timeless as He is - an everlasting love from an everlasting God. As the Alpha and Omega, He is also able to be all things in between. I pray you will allow Him to be your First, your Last and all things in between.

Last week I spent my first Thanksgiving without my mom. It wan't easy. Death really doesn't make sense. But the Alpha and Omega reminded me that my mom is with Him now. She may have had a beginning, but she will never have an end. Eternity with God can only come from an eternal God. And I'm so thankful He makes sense out of everything in between.

Will you take a moment during this Christmas season, to worship the Alpha and Omega - to thank Him for being greater than our grandest thought and beyond what our minds can conceive.

I'd love to have you join me this month as we seek to know the Savior more. He is Jesus - the Alpha and Omega - and so much more.

Click here to subscribe.

Have you ever thought about the fact that the Lord gives us the privilege of knowing Him - I mean really getting to know Him? What an amazing reality! What a great truth! What an awesome responsibility!

In some of my favorite verses in Scripture (Phil 3:10), Paul said that he had forsaken all that he might know Him more. It wasn't something he dabbled at, it was the passionate pursuit of his life. Knowing Him and making Him known became his goal the moment he was blinded and his eyes were opened on the Damascus road.

As we approach the season that celebrates all He is, my posts will be to that end - to know Him and to make Him known.

I hope you will join me for my own personal journey to know Him more. Oh, how I look forward to this month's study time! I really can't wait to share with you how He speaks to my heart and how I get to know Him more through the next several weeks. I pray you will also get to know Him more in the process.

Oh, Lord, may we know you more!

Today, we are going to look at His name, Jesus.

"She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins." Matthew 1:21

Jesus. The name above every name. The name that brings us to our knees and causes our mouths to confess that He is Lord. The very definition of His name describes who He is and why He came.

Jesus - In the Greek, it is Ἰησοῦς which has its roots in the Hebrew name, Joshua (יְהוֹשׁוּעַ). It literally means, Jehovah is Salvation. Do you see that? Jesus is the eternal God who is also our Savior.

The Lord wants to make Himself known to us through His Word, through creation and through His very name! What a wonderful Savior. What a glorious God! He has made Himself known in ways we have yet to discover. As sinners in need of a Savior, that's really good news.

This Jesus who was born some 2,000 years ago came to save us from our sins.

Today, won't you commit to join me in getting to know Him more! Will you examine your own heart and life in light of who He is? Is He your Savior? If not, please know that He came to reveal salvation to you in the person of who He is. In fact, salvation is only available in Him and through Him. Jesus - Jehovah is salvation, desires to be your Savior, my friend.

Please leave a comment and let me know if you have any questions about what it means to receive Jesus as your Savior.

I'd also love to hear from you if you have already come to know Him as your Savior. Share a word of testimony about what He has done to reveal Himself to you as Jesus - Jehovah is Salvation.

I'd love to share a part of my week with you. Click here and subscribe and join me for a journey that may look much like your own.

THE WORD IN YOU:

Begin to prepare your heart to celebrate all that Jesus is by memorizing Matthew 1:21, "She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins." Matthew 1:21

We say "Thank you" so often that we sometimes lose the significance of what it really means to give thanks.

Today, I want to reflect on how good God is and give thanks to Him for who He is and what He has done.

I am giving thanks for the following truths:

Oh, how great the Father's love for us that we should be called the children of God.

That His mercies are new every morning.

That His promises are true.

That He is faithful to His Word and His character.

For sufficient and abundant grace.

For complete forgiveness.

That if and when I fail Him, He loves me anyway.

That He enables me to live beyond myself.

That He will never leave or forsake me.

That He answers prayer.

That He is forever true.

That He is forever kind.

That He is forever good.

That He is forever God.

I hope you enjoy every minute of your Thanksgiving Day and I'd love to hear what you're thankful for!

I'd love to share part of my week with you. Click here to subscribe and join me for a journey that may look much like your own.

Let's face it - relationships aren't always what they should and could be. Sometimes they're painful and unpleasant. Other times they're demanding and draining. Today Lisa shares her own journey in "girlfriendships" and reminds us that friendships, by their very nature, require that we put ourselves out there and sometimes we may get hurt in the process. But God calls us to love - even if it hurts. As you read Lisa's post, I think you will be able to relate in some way or another with a friendship run-a-muck.

My Journey, by Lisa Shaw:

Girlfriends. Best friends or what I call up-close friends. Terms I've heard since my childhood but not one I can honestly say I've experienced in a fulfilling way. I know many women whom I love and enjoy spending time with but none that I can call an up-close (in-person) girlfriend. I don't have sisters. I grew up with 3 brothers. I have 2 daughters and 2 granddaughters all of whom I absolutely adore but no up-close girlfriend. I often wonder if that’s why the LORD chose to use my life to minister to women. I have had a few up-close friendships in my lifetime none of which ended well. I wrote about it in more details for A Martha Heart. You can view it on my Sharing Life with Lisa blog titled: Friendships.

Coming from a childhood of being violated trust in a relationship of any kind was not something that came easily for me. Through many years of journey with the LORD healing came and allowed me to willingly open my heart to others and in doing so there is always vulnerability. Betrayal and feelings of being used rushed in like a Tsunami. The love of Jesus, who is my best friend, has been the saving grace in my life! [John 15:12-14 (NIV) My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.] The love Abba Father has granted me through my hubby of over 20 years who is my earthly best-friend, has blessed my heart tremendously but I still longed for the up-close girlfriend.

One-sided friendships are exhausting and painful. Often what I have found is that I enter into a friendship with no expectation other than loving each other in Christ and the other individual quickly views me as some strong, praying machine leaning on me for prayer and Biblical support but never having a mutual flow of encouragement. Make sense? I’m a woman who loves, prays, gives, laughs, cries, hurts and has weaknesses and struggles as everyone does and yes, I’m strong in the LORD but I’m not a machine. I’m a woman.

Earlier this year a woman read my blog and wrote an unkind Email to me. She said that I “only love on the white sisters and not the black ones”. I love on any one in the LORD. It’s not about the color it’s about Christ. Earlier in life I was told that I was “too black for the white women and not black enough for the black women hence I had no place”. I’m thankful that I know my place (identity) is in the LORD. That being said, comments like these are unfortunate because I enjoy the fellowship of sisters in Christ and it’s humbling to be used by GOD to encourage them I don’t care what color they are!! Didn’t GOD make the colors we see? Sadly, however, comments can cause me to once again pause in allowing close-up friendships as the Guard Dog watching over my heart goes into protective mode.

I know this is not the warm message that most want to hear. I'm sorry Stephanie but when you asked me to write something a few weeks ago on this subject I told you it may not be pretty. This is the only subject of my life I have not gotten my healed-heart wrapped around: up-close girlfriends. Now, please don’t get my message wrong, I’m not depressed, lonely or looking to be pitied. That’s not my focus in sharing this transparent message. What is the focus for me in this message is to say, not all women are experiencing the fruitfulness of up-close girlfriends and it is not always because one is not showing themselves to be friendly.

It’s painful to express the hurts of your heart to someone who says they are your sister-friend or close friend only to have them dismiss your words and feelings in order to tell you what they want you to pray for them and their family. You feel dismissed, de-valued and in my case, the guard dog of my heart resurfaces yet again.

Girlfriends--Up-close girl-friends-- I'm not sure if I've given up on it for my life yet but I do love hearing about the laughter and long talks over coffee, the trips together, the raising of kids, the prayers and tears together -- being a loving support to one another. I love hearing about it. I've experienced it at brief times in my life to find out that being vulnerable can and for some will end in being hurt. Is it worth doing it yet again? Yes. I'm sure it is because God designed us for relationship. Will it hurt yet again? Perhaps. For now, I'm in a season of prayer and healing spending loads of time with the LORD about this area of my life that if I can be totally honest and transparent here and say, I don't like it. It hurts. It's a lonely place to be to give love so openly and to be used by GOD for over 15 years to minister to His beautiful daughters but not to have a solid up-close sister-friendship that is full and vibrant and founded in Christ for both she and I.

Some may say, well Lisa, it happens - get over the hurts - move on - God has another friend for you - pray - get into the Word, etc. Ladies, I know and I am and will continue to. We all have the answers to the pain of others don't we? We know all the “things to do” Biblically to overcome in an area YET truth be told, we don’t really have the answers for one another but I know the One who does – Jesus and so I linger at His precious feet in prayer. 

Thanks for reading my heart. Please pray for me as I pray for you. Enjoy your up-close girlfriend relationships. Love on each other. Don’t take each other for granted. Don’t take more than you’re willing to give. I often believe that if both are giving then none is without. Support each other in the rough waters. Laugh together in the light tide. Pray and encourage each other in the Word through the seasons you will both experience. Honor the LORD in your friendship as He must be the foundation.

Thanks for letting me pour my heart to you.


Love and blessings,

Lisa

Lisa's Bio:

Lisa Shaw understands what it means to be hindered by past pain, people pleasing and the grip of fear. She also knows the healing, freedom and grace that comes through Christ! By His design she is humbled to be an ordained pastor with her husband Peter using GOD's gifts she holds dear of helping women to see themselves through God’s eyes, the ministry of prayer, wholeness of marriages and standing for the lives of the unborn. She loves sharing personal stories to help people connect to a “real” person. She believes that "people don't care how much you know unless they know how much you care". Lisa cares. Her heart continues to be to please the LORD, love on her family and help people to know HIM more!


Email:lisashawcares@cfl.rr.com
Blog: www.lisashawshares.com

Have you walked down the painful path of a difficult friendship? Do you carry scars on your heart from those you thought were your friends?

What began as an invitation to speak turned into so much more. An unexpected and unexplainable love began to form in my heart as I began to seek God's face for women I had never even met. It happens every time I speak to a group of women and I'm so thankful for the way the Lord works in my heart as I seek His heart for them. There's a connection with these women that I don't really understand - but I love them dearly - deeply.

This week, I was blessed to be part of (and speak at) Holiday from the Heart Christmas Bazaar at Hillcrest Baptist Church. What a wonderful event this sweet church puts on for women in the church and in the community! Women perusing the booths and having a little food, fellowship and fun. These women had an obvious love for God and for each other and it was my privilege to be with them all.

I love the connections we women make at any and all events. It's so much fun to watch old friends connect with each other. There's laughing, crying and a whole lot of catching up to do. Then there's the new friends we make. Those who seem to click and bond almost instantly. Sort of like super-glue friends. It just takes a second and they've bonded for life.

I love being part of it all. There's just something special about girlfriends getting together and doing life together. I even love it more when we walk through the Word together. Women in the Word together always makes my heart smile.

I am always honored and excited to share God's Word. To speak to women in their place of need. But, to be honest, I never have a clue what the women I am talking to are going through. Only God knows the hearts and circumstances that make their way into the room where I'll be speaking. And I am absolutely dependent upon Him to allow me to be a vessel in which He can use me to speak from His heart to theirs. I have nothing to say apart from what He leads me to say - apart from His Word - apart from Him.

And so I pray for women I don't know, who have needs I'm not aware of, who are going through things I'm clueless about. I begin to feel more inadequate than ever and to be desperate for God to help me know what to say. "Oh Jesus, please give me the words, the wisdom and a heart that beats for Your will."

And I'm always amazed when women come up to me and tell me that what I said was exactly what they needed to hear - that there was a connection made with something I said. To God be the glory - for every word - for every heart that's encouraged.

‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ Acts 17:28

Tonight I reflect on God's goodness and grace to allow me to do something I'm passionate about - encouraging women in the Word. Pointing people to Jesus...the Way, the Truth, the Life. God is so good! I'm so thankful for every opportunity He allows me to be a voice that cries in the wilderness of women's hearts and circumstances.

I realize this post is a bit random, but I'm just overwhelmed that God uses a girl like me to share His precious Word with women. I love how He loves us and I love how He fills us with His love for each other.

What about you? Have you made the most important connection of your life - the one with Jesus? If not, I'd love to share with you how you can know Him personally and be part of His forever family.

What are you thankful for this season of Thanksgiving?

I'd love to share part of my week with you? Please click here to subscribe and join me for a journey that may look like your own.

I just got back from the funeral for my mom and it has prompted me to do something a little different for today's post. Mom was my friend before any other girl in my life and so it is fitting, and even needful for me at this point, to share with you a bit about her. So, I'm going to share with you the eulogy I wrote for her and I pray that if you still have your mom with you, you will love her well.

Mom
Delsie Custozzo
July 2, 1933 - November 6, 2010 - Eternity with Jesus

As we gather together to celebrate the life of a woman whose very presence challenged us to be better than we are, we can’t help but mourn our own loss.

Mom meant so much to so many. She was a loving wife, mother and friend. We may all describe her differently, but she was a woman who we would all describe with several distinct characteristics that made mom, mom.

Mom was a woman of strength:
Mom’s childhood wasn’t an easy one. When she was 2, her mother died and after suffering the loss of her mother, she was tossed from one family to another. She never had a real place to call home until Aunt Pearl and Uncle Sam took her in when she was about 13. But the lack of love and consistency didn’t make mom bitter - it made her better. They say what doesn’t break you will make you. Mom never let her difficulties become excuses; instead she used her painful past as stepping stones to make her strong.

Mom was a woman of grace, warmth and integrity:
Mom carried herself in a way that garnered respect. There was a graciousness about her that was obvious to all who knew her. Her doors were always open and a meal was always ready for anyone and everyone she knew. She could even beat you at cards or dominoes with a special kind of dignity and grace. She taught us how to appreciate what we have instead of complaining about what we didn’t. How to live honestly, to do what is right, even when no one is looking. How to be more concerned for others than we are for ourselves. She never made excuses for us when we were wrong, but taught us to face up to our failures and learn from them. She even faced death with grace and dignity. She never complained - she just reminded us that others have it worse than she does.

Mom was a simple woman:
It didn’t take much to please mom. She treasured the simple things in life like family, friends and her faith. She loved holidays with families and playing games with friends. She loved to cook - for her husband, for her kids, for her friends, and for anyone who needed a meal. You could set your clock by mom’s schedule. Sunday’s after church were spent playing cards with Dee and Jenny, Tuesdays and Thursdays were spent at Cedar Hills Civic Center playing bingo with Mrs. Parmenter and Mrs. Robbins and making people happy with her egg salad sandwiches. (No one made egg salad like momma).


Mom was a bit adventurous:
When we were kids, she and dad would take us tent camping at Kingsley Lake. We would travel every summer to see family and friends. When she found out Mrs. Parmenter and Zoe were as wild as she was, they all made plans for a three week long cross-country trip that would find it’s destination at the penny slot machines in Las Vegas. Her adventurous heart took her to Biloxi, Mississippi, to Branson Missouri and umpteen trips to Las Vegas. Last year, Momma and Mrs. Parmenter braved their final trip together there even though she couldn’t hardly breathe. You really can’t keep a good girl down.

She was a woman of faith:
As I sat in the hospital with her last year, she shared her testimony with me. She told me of a time about 27 years ago when she realized it was time to live for the Lord and she gave her life to Jesus that day. From that time forward, mom faithfully attended her church, consistently gave food to the poor and tried to live out her faith. Even as her health slipped away, her faith stood strong. I remember at times when she would experience pain, she would tell me that she was offering her pain to the Lord for all He had suffered for her. She said that since Jesus had given so much for her, she couldn’t complain about what she was going through.

Mom loved life. She loved being with her family and friends. She loved to laugh. In fact, when she was really tickled you’d hear an occasional snort or two.

She was known to be a bit stubborn, much like her dad. She knew what she wanted; she knew when she was right and she knew when you weren’t. Even as she battled cancer, she did so on her terms.

Mom was one smart cookie. She loved numbers and she loved helping people with their finances. She probably balanced everyone’s checkbook in this place at least once. She could beat you at any game show and did a crossword puzzle every day. Mom taught us all a lot. She taught me how to live - and now she has taught me how to die.

Mom was also very practical. No “fu-fu” stuff for her. She just wanted what she needed. Nothing more - nothing less.

Mom loved her friends. Normally, games, coffee and good times were involved when the gang got together. Good times and good friends always seemed to make mom’s heart smile.

Mom filled a place in our hearts and lives that will live long beyond this painful day. She was a woman who left a legacy of grace and integrity for all who knew her.

My friend, Lynn Mosher, sent me the following sweet illustration. “You know, at the end of a day, when the sun disappears from view, the sky still glows with the sun’s beauty long after its departure. Its afterglow brings warmth to the heart of one viewing the heavenly masterpiece.
 
The same occurs when a loved one disappears from our view; the afterglow of her presence lingers in the hearts of her loved ones on earth long after she has left our sight. The beauty of such a person never dies, for she leaves behind so much of herself. Our hearts are always illuminated by the memories of her smile, her laughter, her kind words, the touch of her hand, and her love for God.
 
I’m reminded of the roses that climb the garden wall. Some will blossom on the other side, being hidden from our view, but the vine keeps them joined together. And so it is with the wall of death. It merely hides the other side; it does not divide. Our loved ones who have gone on to be with Jesus may be hidden from our view, but they have just blossomed on the other side. And, if we, who remain here, are also in Christ, then we are all united together, because the Vine keeps us together.”

As we sit here today, our hearts ache because I don't think there is ever a time that we would have been ready for this woman of such strength and grace to be tucked behind a wall of death.

She certainly is a rose whose vine has stretched over to the other side. Her beauty and our connection to her will always remain in our hearts.

Mom meant so much to so many. And though our hearts are sad because she is gone, we have become better people because we were blessed to know her.

But mom is with Jesus right now. Her faith has now been made sight. The Jesus whom she offered her pain to will never allow her to experience pain again. The One she prayed to for healing has now healed her for eternity. She is looking at the One who spoke this world into being and even though we wish she were not gone, she wouldn’t want to come back - she wouldn’t want to leave the presence of her Savior. She would only want to say, please be sure you know you are going to be there too.

As I sit in my backyard, reflecting on life - death - and all things in between, I can't help but pray I fill my days with significance. Death has a way of reminding us that this is not a dress rehearsal. We've got one shot to make a difference. May we all live in such a way that we will hear those coveted words, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Today, I am honored to have Melissa McGaha Rorabaugh share a girlfriend story that I know will encourage your heart. Be sure to read her bio at the end of the post and pop into her blog and say "hi." She's definitely a woman who loves to make a difference in other women's live and I know you'll love her!

November is definitely my favorite month. In November, it is still warm here in North Florida – although sometimes it does dip into the 60s. It’s the month when we celebrate Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday! Family, food, shopping, friends, food, shopping, football, food, shopping – you get it. It’s also National Adoption Month. Adoption changed my life forever.

I longed to be a mom. My heart ached at baby showers. I avoided church on Mother's Day. I felt inadequate and unworthy even though God told me I was neither of those things. I had a personal understanding of the stony heart God speaks of in Ezekiel 36:26. I experienced a range of emotions while dealing with infertility that went from passive sadness and depression to furious, indignant anger.

God used a young, special woman and the gift of a baby to change all of this in me. Her willingness to listen to and follow the nudging of the Holy Spirit provided the path for me to become a mom. Hunter was adopted and our family was formed.
We have stories about how our “tummy mommy” contacted me; the time I first saw Hunter; the first night he lived in the house with me and I didn’t sleep. These things form his adoption story.

As believers, we have our own adoption story. The moment we accepted Christ, we became sons of God. We were adopted into His family, joint heirs with Christ. Galatians 4:7 says “Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir.”

I remember that feeling when I held Hunter and said “This is MY child. Finally.” It was with an overwhelming love. Indescribable. Unbelievable.

Can you imagine how our Heavenly Father feels when we cry out to Him for salvation? He loves us so much more than we can fathom with an overwhelming, indescribable, unbelievable love.

When we turn to Him – do you think He says “This is MY child. Finally.”

BIO:
Melissa and her husband, Tub, are having a blast serving God together! Currently, Tub is on staff at Hillcrest Baptist Church in Jacksonville, FL leading those in the Family Life Ministries department. Melissa has a desire to see Christian women as encouragers and nurturers while still holding each other accountable to be Godly women, wives and sometimes, mothers. Tub and Melissa are raising their two sons, Danny and Hunter. Melissa works as the HR director for a large technologies company and prays every day for the Lord to make sure her “to-do” list is His “to-do” list.

You can find Melissa at:

Twitter - www.twitter.com/TubsWife
Facebook - www.facebook.com/TubsWife
Web - www.mylife-tubswife.tumblr.com

I'm so thankful and blessed to have Melanie Amos Love share my space in cyberspace today. She is a sweet and wise friend and after you read her "Girlfriend" post, I know you are going to love her just as much as I do! Please be sure to check out her website where you will find her book, JourneyWords.

Friends in Old Places
by Melanie Amos Love
© 2009,JourneyWords, Xulon Press)

"A friend loveth at all times…” Proverbs 17:17a

Not waiting until I got back into the car, I tore open the envelope of newly developed photos I’d picked up at the drugstore. Yes, I’m digital! I can take multi-megapixel photos and print them out in a flash, but these were different. They were prints from a 35-mm roll of film that had fallen into a box of old papers almost twenty years earlier. I couldn’t wait to see what the envelope contained.

My two boys, sweaty and smiling in their clay-dusted tee-ball uniforms...our golden retriever Cody, huddled under the kitchen table during a thunderstorm…all the usual family photographic fare. But the next photo washed me over with sweet sadness: “Alf” and Me. Leaning inward, cheek to cheek, with smiles that that said, “She’s my pal!” Standing there alone in the Walgreen’s parking lot, I had to giggle when I thought of the friendship we once shared. Pranks and hugs, wrapped in prayers. Great friends, we were, with the added special “glue” of having children the same ages. Her Jacob and my Danny. Her Tiffany and my Kenny. Four great kids whose lives converged on the common grounds of church, baseball and especially two moms who loved each other…a bunch.

As Christian women at the same place in life all those years ago, we buoyed one another’s spirits in choppy emotional seas, complained about the bills, swapped recipes and took turns babysitting. We snickered over articles on how to raise perfect children, taught pre-teen girls about missionaries and Jesus and papier-mâché, and could talk for hours on the phone even though we were just a ten-minute drive apart. We prayed for each other and laughed with each other and had a peaceful contentedness that God must’ve meant for us to be friends.

Time marched on, life happened, and Alf moved with her family to another city. We (I) allowed the distance to have a dampening effect on our closeness. It was subtle at first, barely noticeable…but one day I realized our friendship had fizzled. She was busy there, settling into a new home, a new job, and a new church…a new life. Our phone visits became sporadic, and then they stopped. I still wonder sometimes, like I did as I held that happy photo, if she ever thinks of me. Did we sometimes disagree? Yes. Did either of us have ill will toward the other? Nope. Like I said, life happened, and our closeness became its casualty.

The friendships of women come to an end for lots of reasons. Too frequently, the root of the cause is neglect, plain and simple. Even those that end harshly suffered neglect at some point first. As Christian women, we ought to recognize the friendships in our lives for what they are: gifts from God, meant to accomplish a variety of things in all of us. Good friends almost always complement our personalities and abilities rather than coincide with them. I think that’s on purpose…God’s purpose.

I look at the wonderful women who reside in my life now, or who have come and gone, and I am struck by how their presence caused me to grow, and pushed me in His direction...even if they didn’t know Him, and didn’t mean to make me grow. I learned about spiritual boldness from Alf. She also taught me that there’s no silly that’s too silly (and I have pictures!) if it helps others get a word from God. When she moved on from my daily life, in came others: some for a few moments, some for a spell, and some that will be beside me for a lifetime. God’s fingerprints are on each one of those relationships, however many or few times we have spent together.
I don’t want to take a single one of these God-sent relationships for granted! As a woman now older and wiser, I’m occasionally impressed by Him to seek out a friend who’s passed on from my life, if for no other reasons than to tell them (in the likely event that I never did) what a blessing they were in my life…and to let them know that God has refreshed my memories of them so that I can pray for them, wherever He has them.

Not every woman who’s come and then gone in my life has moved on in the physical sense. Not all of them are distant in miles…only in heart. While God deliberately gave me some friendships only for a season, others didn’t last nearly as long as He intended, thanks to me. Some have left, I’m sure, because I wasn’t the friend to them that I should have been. Maybe I took them for granted, or pretended to be too busy a few too many times. Maybe they perceived that I was preoccupied when they were trying to share a hurt or a concern with me, and they felt unimportant.

Perhaps they misunderstood something I or someone else said that changed how they saw me. On the other hand, maybe I was the offended one. Because one or the other of us wasn’t genuine, or because she or I neglected the other’s presence in our life, the friendship faltered.

It’s likely that each of us has at least a friendship or two that is dying from neglect, or that has been long-buried in a grave choked with the weeds of self-centeredness. When God foreknew us, in the very beginning, He had friendships planned for us. They were (are) that important. And He’s revealed to me that it is never too late for Him to heal or revive those relationships (He’s in the healing and resurrection business, remember?) If He answers that an old friendship is best left laid to rest, He is still the One Who can cause it to rest in peace, allowing us to pray for that old friend while leaving the resting place undisturbed.

I don’t know if I’ll ever see Alf again. I’ve made a few unsuccessful attempts to contact her, but maybe this is one that God’s accomplished His purpose in. I prayed for her today, and I propped that photo where I’ll see it often. When I do, I’ll pray for her again. She made a difference in my life, and if she’s still letting God use her the way He did back then, she’s busy right now being a blessing. I couldn’t have planned it better!

A Word for Your Journey
Consider past friendships. Have you been part of a friendship that (from either side) was injured, crippled, or even killed, by neglect, or harsh words, or worse? Remember, our Lord is in the resurrection business! Ask Him to reveal a past friendship that He still wants to use. He desires reconciliation for His children, and He’ll tell you -- through circumstances or a bright memory or a whisper in your spirit -- the name of a friend who He wants to reach backwards to bless through you. Be alert for His nudges, speak and act from your heart, and experience the relief of a healed or resurrected friendship.

Let’s thank God every day for the friendships we enjoy: the old ones, the new ones, the short ones, the long ones. Pray His protection on the ones we treasure, restoration for the ones we have put on a shelf, and peaceful rest those He can no longer use. Let’s ask Him to bless each one of those women, whether we remain fond of them or not. Where we refused to forgive someone long ago, let’s go ahead and do it now. If they won’t receive that forgiveness, we’ve been obedient to extend it, and we’re free to move on. If they’re simply out of reach, let’s experience the freedom of forgiving them anyway, right where we are. It still counts!

I'm so excited and honored to have Rebecca Lynn Fussell share today's Girlfriend post! You are going to absolutely love her! Please be sure to read her bio at the end of the post.

Hello Everyone ~

Growing up in my parent’s home, anytime we needed something sharp we had to hunt through a drawer full of knives to find the one knife that might actually cut something. All the others blades were so dull; we couldn’t tell the sharp side from the smooth side. No doubt, somewhere in the world sharp utensils existed, but somehow they had all eluded the Anderstrom house!

When I got married, imagine my surprise the first time I about lost my finger on the razor sharp edge of the new kitchen knife. I guess I assumed every household struggled with inefficient supplies. What a treat to simply chop and slice with ease! The theory was true. Sharp knives did exist! No more grunting and pulling and smashing to get things done. I couldn’t help but wonder why in the world we had suffered so many years with dull knives. It all seemed so unnecessary.

I thought about that this week when God allowed me a chunk of time with some special women. Without realizing it, I had become dull like the drawer full of knives, giving out to others without being vulnerable enough to receive; a common but costless mistake among those who minister. This left my heart emotionally isolated and perfect prey for the Enemy. I desperately needed someone to speak the truth into my life, just as Proverbs 27:10 says, “Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”


Making time to be with these friends took effort, and initially it felt like a frivolous use of time. But within minutes, the companionship of these ladies revived my thirsty heart like a withering plant brightens after a summer rain shower. Listening to their Godly wisdom and perspectives on life dispelled some of the lies I had started believing. I noticed my mental vision clearing as I voiced my questions and frustrations to someone other than myself. (Isn’t it amazing how much clearer things become when you’re not the only one listening?) Suddenly my blind spots felt like glowing neon signs and I wondered how long they had gone unnoticed.

The bottom line is simply this: I need you and you need me. Don’t allow yourself to be isolated, no matter who you are. Take it from me, you will survive, but you will be dull. It’s not necessary nor is it wise to live that way. So commit with me to engage with others of like mind with whom you can share and pray and learn! Ask God to give you a mentor or a prayer partner ~ someone with whom you can be honest and unguarded. Let God use this person to bring out the sharpness and the shine in you! Anyone can be in the dull drawer. You, my sister, were made to glisten!

Hope & Glory! to You ~
Love,
Rebecca

REBECCA'S BIO:

I love my God, my husband, my family, TAB & Chocolate...ok, yeah and Hershel Walker, the wonder dog. (Yes, we are big Georgia Bulldog fans) I love creating something out of nothing.

I’ve been an insulin-dependent diabetic for 30 years and just recently took on the task of learning the insulin pump. Everyone says I’m just going to love it, but the jury is still out on that one. My husband, Ronnie, is an elected official, which stimulates interesting dinner conversations. And something I never dreamed I’d be saying but it’s true, I have no children of my own. Ronnie does have a darling son, who I enjoy and love very much.

My greatest delight is sharing the freeing truth of God’s word and watching people become who God meant for them to be. My days are spent teaching, writing, directing and when I’m really fortunate, acting! …Oh, and washing a few loads of laundry and making a meal or two for my family….and cleaning up after all the boys in house…and, well, you get the picture.

Aren't you glad Rebecca popped in and shared her heart in my little corner of cyberspace? You can find her at tabforthesoul.blogspot.com.

Do you realize that you glisten more when sharpened by others? Do you have a friend that helps you glisten? Do you struggle with staying in the dull drawer?

I would love to share part of each week with you. Click here to subscribe and join me for a journey that may look much like your own.

I'm blessed to have my sweet friend Kelly J. Stigliano as a guest on my blog today as she shares something that will help every girlfriend who has ever been called upon to be a "counselor." Kelly is a transplanted Ohioan living in Orange Park, FL with her husband Jerry. A blended family, they have five adult children, a son-in-law and one baby granddaughter - none of whom live in Florida!

Kelly is a reporter for a weekly newspaper, writes articles for magazines and spends time traveling as a speaker. She just wants to Keep it Real, openly and humorously sharing the truths of her life and the lessons she is learning.

To learn more about Kelly please visit www.kellystigliano.com.

Help God, I’m Not a Counselor!

I’m sure it’s happened to you. Your friend needs a listening ear and vents to you about her boss or boyfriend or family. Maybe someone you hardly know turns to you because you “just seem like such a good listener.” Before you know it, you’re her daily counselor. She calls you or buttonholes you in the employee lunchroom every day. Either way, you stand there wondering how you got into this position. “Help God!” you pray, “I’m not a counselor! Tell me what to say.”

At first it seems simple; you’re flattered that she’s chosen you. You may even dish out some pretty sound advice. Before you know it, however, you’ve gotten in way over your head. What’s a girlfriend to do?

Offering advice to someone who genuinely wants to change; who is actively looking for a solution, is easier than trying to help someone who just wants to complain. Breaking your advice down into steps and weekly assignments, and working toward a conclusion is probably the easiest, most satisfying counseling that we laymen can do.

However, what may seem like logical steps toward solving a problem to you may be an insurmountable mountain to climb for someone in the midst of the predicament.
It’s been said that the definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing and expecting a different outcome. Often people are just not ready for change. Sometimes misery is a comfortable place to be because it’s familiar. What you may think is a simple answer may not be interpreted as such.

Suggesting that your friend talk with a professional is often the only answer. If she talks about feeling suicidal, has uncontrollable fits of rage or an addiction of any kind, you’re probably not qualified to help her. (See sidebar.)
However, when your friend is having trouble dealing with her children, communicating with her spouse, or relating to difficult people, maybe just having a friend to listen is the only support she needs.

All good Sunday school-going children can tell you that the answer to any question in life is “read the Bible, witness and pray.” In counseling a friend, that’s not bad advice either. When asked, “What should I do?” pointing to God is always the answer. No one can guide a person to truth like the Great Counselor.

Unfortunately, the Bible has many gray areas. Modern life issues aren’t always black and white in God’s Word. For instance, the Bible does not say you shouldn’t let your daughter get her navel pierced. It does, however, say in I Corinthians 3:16 and 6:19 that you should honor your body as the temple of the Holy Spirit. Some interpret that to mean no piercings.

Whatever the issue, be careful to not become judgmental! Remember it is the Holy Spirit Who chastens us.

What about those really tough issues like emotions and appropriate behavior? Now you’re treading on thin ice, Sister!

Pointing to God and His word is always right. If your friend really doesn’t want to hear that answer, pause and then point to God and His word again. There is no better advice than that which was given centuries ago.

Praying for God’s clear direction can dissolve any confusion. Thanking God for all He’s done can put things into proper prospective. Reading the Bible can help bring her to conclusions about what she should do next.

You must guard yourself in every way. Stay “prayed up,” stay in the Word, and keep your personal relationships healthy. If you find yourself becoming bogged down by the burdens of someone who is regularly using you as a sounding board, it’s time to step back. If you don’t take care of you; if you don’t guard your own spiritual, mental and physical health, you cannot even help your own family.

Know when to say, “Enough is enough. I’ve given you a clear path to the throne of God and His answers but you have chosen to wallow in martyrdom. I won’t allow you to drag me down with you.”

This takes courage. It takes strength. It takes the boldness of Christ. It hurts to walk away from a friend – especially one in need – but you have to count the cost of being her counselor.

God does not want you to suffer by doing what you were not called to do. When amateurs try to wire a house, they get electrocuted. When amateurs try to fix the plumbing, their houses get flooded. If you truly feel called to counsel in the name of Christ, go to college and obtain a degree in the field of Christian Counseling. You can only do so much as a layman.

So about those really tough issues . . . Lead your friend through scripture and formulate prayers from specific passages. Write them on cards for her to pray, and pray for her daily.

THEN, point her to a professional Christian counselor. That’s what you can do. That’s all God expects from you.

Sidebar: When should one seek counseling?

According to the American Counseling Association (ACA), professional counseling should be sought when we need help addressing problems and issues that cause us emotional distress or make us feel overwhelmed.

"Good indicators of when you should seek counseling are when you're having difficulties at work, your ability to concentrate is diminished or when your level of pain becomes uncomfortable," says Dr. Gail Robinson, past president of the ACA. "However, you don't want to wait until the pain becomes unbearable or you're at the end of your rope."

Joyce Breasure, past president of the ACA and a professional counselor who has been in private practice for more than 20 years, recommends counseling when you:

 Spend 5 out of 7 days feeling unhappy
 Regularly cannot sleep at night
 Are taking care of a parent or a child and the idea crosses your mind that you may want to hit that person
 Place an elder in a nursing home or in alternative care
 Have lost someone or something (such as a job)
 Have a chronic or acute medical illness
 Can no longer prioritize what is most important in your life
 Feel that you can no longer manage your stress

Robinson points out you don't have to be "sick" to benefit from counseling. "Counseling is more than a treatment of mental illness," she says. "Some difficult issues we face in life are part of normal development. Sometimes it's helpful to see what you're going through is quite normal."

Do you ever struggle will what to say when someone seeks your counsel?

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