Stephanie Shott

“A friend may well be reckoned as the masterpiece of nature."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love this quote and yet it leaves me wondering. How is that we are able to quickly distance ourselves from our friends if there is a clash? I know I have done this before, and I imagine you probably have, too. It’s hard to let someone know that they have hurt us or made us angry. How it is that women, who generally have good social skills, have such a hard time being really honest when someone offends us?

Recently, a good friend of mine did something that offended me. My feelings began to mount. Yet, I have to be honest part of me didn’t want to acknowledge or confront my feelings or my friend. Gratefully, she called me and left a message on my voice mail apologizing for her behavior. I called her back and acknowledged that what she had done indeed was hurtful and dishonoring of our friendship. Her intentions weren’t to hurt me. She is just is going through a difficult time. I told her that we should talk about it. I also let her know that I forgave her and I still love her.

Research shows that our families of origin play a large role in how we handle conflict. If we learned unhealthy ways of handling conflict growing up, more than likely we will engage in similar behavior in our adult relationships with those closest to us. Many people would rather avoid conflict, either emotionally or physically, than deal with it. Some people even choose to completely walk away. However, this is not a biblical model. The Bible encourages relationship and restoration. In the Book of Ephesians, Paul reminds us:

In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.

It is okay to have our feelings: to be angry, hurt, or disappointed. God expects this; after all, He is the author of emotion. The Scriptural principle here is that we deal with the emotion. We shouldn’t deny our feelings, or withdraw, or distance ourselves. We need to work through and overcome whatever it is that is coming between our friendships. This is the healthy choice and the right thing to do.

I want to challenge you that the next time you have a clash with a girlfriend not to distance yourself or coyly dance away from the relationship. Instead, I encourage you to the following:

1. Choose to live authentically and acknowledge that there is a problem. Take the high road and be willing to initiate resolution; contact your friend.

2. Be willing to listen to her side of the story, her thoughts and feelings.

3. Be honest and let your friend know how you feel. Carefully choose your words.

4. Take responsibility for your part of the misunderstanding or miscommunication. Be willing to say, “I am sorry” and ask for forgiveness. Remember no one is perfect and we all have “bad days”.

5. Talk briefly about how you might be able to avoid hurt feelings in the future.

Is there anyone who comes to mind now as you read this? Remember a good friend is worth her weight in gold. As St. Thomas Aquinas so eloquently said years ago,

There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.

I'm so thankful Angela shared her excellent, thought provoking and attitude-challenging post! Has this post challenged or encouraged you? Do you have any advice about how to handle the difficulties all friendships face?

Here's Angela's Bio:

Angela Bisignano has a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and an M.S. in Ministry. Angela has been working with women for over fifteen years: counseling, mentoring, and teaching. She works in private practice finding it a privilege to hear people’s stories, helping them along the journey through healing, restoration and freedom. She is passionate about women finding the hope and joy in God’s high calling. Angela’s first book, Beautifully Gifted: Equipping Today’s Women for the High Calling of God is being released in December of 2010. Currently, she and her husband Gerard are raising their two sons, Jonathan and David.

Angela spends her time divided between the beauty of Southern California living and the Sierra Mountains. She loves her family, connecting to the hearts of her boys, deep conversation, cut lavender, orchids, long walks with her golden retriever “Bella”, enjoying art with her husband, and traveling, just about anywhere.

Email: DrAngelaB@me.com

Twitter: http://twitter.com/angelabisignano

FaceBook: Angela Gozzi Bisignano

Before you read Melissa's post, I want to share some exciting news with you. I will be a guest on WATC TV in Atlanta tomorrow (Thursday, October 28th) and I'd love to have you tune in. If you don't live in the Atlanta area, you can view it live online at http://www.watc.tv/. It airs at 7 p.m. EST. The show is from 7 to 9 and I'm not sure exactly what time slot I'm scheduled for, but I sure hope you join me!

I'm so thankful Melissa Mashburn shared this wonderful post about girlfriends. Melissa is a woman who is passionately pursuing God every day by taking her everyday, ordinary life and placing it as an offering to Him. She’s a Daughter of the King, wife, mom, writer, speaker, and Pastor’s wife. Melissa is the founder of the blog “Mel’s World w/Melissa Mashburn”, co-founder of the Praise and Coffee Nights Ministry with Sue Cramer, Kids Ministry Director at her church, and just last year launched a new weekly series called Godly Gals ~ Real Women, Real Life, Real Faith where we meet new women each week who are “Taking their everyday, ordinary lives and placing it as their offering to God.” You can find her on twitter and at her blog. She loves encouraging women to live with an authentic faith by being transparent, renewed and transformed. ~ Romans 12:1-2.

Girlfriend to Many, Best Friend to One

It’s a funny thing, as women we crave community and relationships from other women, but those very same relationships and community can be the very thing that frustrates and overwhelms us.

I’ve thought about this a lot lately and finally come to the conclusion that I am a girlfriend to many, but truly a best friend to only one. I love being around people, I am by nature a people person and recovering people pleaser, but as I blossom in wisdom (which means I am getting older) and maturity I’ve begun to realize a few things.

As a girlfriend to many I put myself out there a lot, which means I have been bruised and blessed a lot. I have a passion to lead women into relationships with other women and also with their Creator. It’s just part of my DNA, but on the flip side as someone that is a girlfriend to many it is and has been hard for me to have a best friend.

I’m not sure if it is because I moved to three different schools while I was in high school, if it was the diversity of groups that I spent my time with growing up, or just because I am in ministry. Like I said, I’m not really sure why that is, but I know this…I love my girlfriends and couldn’t imagine doing life without them.

I have lots of different types of friends, I call them the S-Girls, and here they are;
The Sappy Friend,
The Silly Friend,
The Sassy Friend,
The Smart Friend,
The Sporty Friend,
The Stylish Friend,
and The Speak the Truth Friend.

These girls may be different for you than they are for me, but to be quite honest, I couldn’t imagine my life without them. They challenge me, they encourage me, they bless me, they stretch me and to tell you the truth they make me a better person.

When it comes to a best friend though, I have to be straight up honest with you; I don’t really have a best girlfriend. Is that shocking? I have to admit, at times it does bother me, but then I think that for me, it’s just a great reminder that my girlfriends are the sprinkles on my cupcake.

The cupcake itself is my relationship with Christ, the icing is my relationship with my husband (who is probably my real best friend) and the beautiful sprinkles on top are the girls that color my life with their friendship.

There you have it…I’m a Girlfriend to Many, Best Friend to One.

I hope you were as blessed as I was to read Melissa's story. My heart so echoes her heart for ministering to women and her relationships with the girlfriends of her world. Yay! I'm not the only one who is a girlfriend to many, but a best friend to only one - my husband. Of course, we know that while every relationship on earth is vital, Christ alone is the Friend who sticks closer than a brother. The One who will never leave us or forsake us and loves us with an unconditional and everlasting love!

Do you have a BFF? Do you sometimes feel as though you are a girlfriend to many, but best friend to one?

I'm honored and thrilled to have Lynn Mosher share her girlfriend story with us today! Being nudged by God in her later years to write, Lynn discovered her true purpose in life. Her passion now is to reach out to others, to encourage and comfort them through her writing. She has lived with fibromyalgia since 2000, during which time she has continued to hone her writing. She lives with her husband in their empty nest. On occasion, the three offspring, who have flown the coop, come to visit accompanied by a -lovable son-in-law and now three very precious granddaughters.

Covenant Love Gift

Has the Lord ever told you to do something you’ve never done before, or never even heard of someone doing? Several years ago, the Lord told me to do something for my sister-in-law who was experiencing some difficult circumstances in her life. Before I tell you what that gesture was, let me give you an abbreviated background on covenant.

During the rituals of covenant, some exchanges between the two partners took place. In the covenant between Jonathan and David, all exchanges took place.

Scripture says, “Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, even to his sword and his bow and his belt,” (1 Samuel 18:3-4 NKJV). In essence, he stripped himself of all his personal possessions, essentially naked to the world, defenseless and vulnerable, giving it all to David, and put his life in David’s hands.

When an exchange of weapons took place, it symbolized protection against the other’s enemies. It was an inherent obligation to lay down one’s life, if necessary, to defend and protect the other from his enemies, as Jonathan did for David when Saul sought to kill David. Jonathan vowed to protect David and David was bound to reciprocate.

In the exchange of exchange of belts, which held all the weapons in place, not only did it represent an interchange of possessions but it also symbolized an interchange of one’s strength, adding the strength of the one partner to the other.

Without this covenant explanation, you would not have the appreciation for what I am about to tell you. The Lord led me to give one of my belts to my sister-in-law.

As I did, I told her that when she underwent any difficult situation, she should wear it, and I would pray for her. She has worn it on numerous occasions (under her blouse though; it wasn’t her color!).

As I lost the final draft of the note I gave her with the belt, this is basically what I wrote:

I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me…

“…for (His) strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness.”

Because we have taken on the Lord’s Name together, we have an eternal covenant with Him and each other. The belt or girdle represented man’s strength. Therefore, the exchange of belts symbolized giving your covenant partner your strength.

So, when your human strength falters, and you need someone to come alongside you from whom you can draw strength, I will be there. My belt is yours.

I should have added Ruth’s sentiment to Naomi, “Don’t ask me to leave you! Let me go with you. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Wherever you die, I will die, and that is where I will be buried. May the LORD’s worst punishment come upon me if I let anything but death separate me from you!” (Ruth 1:16-17 NLT) Covenant words, indeed.

My sister-in-law returned the kindness, giving me one of her belts, and has prayed for me. So, we have made the exchange, just as David and Jonathan did. I also nicknamed her David, and I am Jonathan.

Covenant is a very special bond between two partners, whether between you and the Lord or you and another. When a difficult time surrounds a very special friend or relative of yours, or even when all is well, you may want to do this for her (or him), giving her (or him) the comfort of someone coming alongside with added strength and lifting her (or him) up in prayer.

As Jesus knew the meaning of giving up of one’s life for another, His words echo throughout the halls of eternity, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends,” (John 15:13 NKJV).

A friend will readily exchange his life for his covenant partner. I would lay down my life, if necessary, to save my covenant belt partner.

Is there someone with whom you can exchange the gift of a covenant belt and share strength and defense, standing before the Lord and interceding for each other? Have you ever given something to girlfriend to symbolize your love for her? Do you have a covenant relationship with a friend? Do you have a covenant relationship with Jesus?

I'm so thankful Lynn shared her inspiring girlfriend story with us! I'd love to share part of my week with you. Click here to subscribe and join me for a journey that may look much like your own.

“Good morning, Lord. What a beautiful day!”

The cheerful words from the next bed made my teeth tingle. Fourteen days of this? I asked myself.

I had wondered if our friendship would survive two weeks of being together day and night. Kathy and I had been friends for so long (53 years at that time; 65 now), I did not want anything to come between us.

Our friendship began when I was in second grade, she in third. We walked to school together, stayed awake talking till all hours at sleepovers, attended the same church, and later both worked in the same hospital.

Our paths separated after high school when I moved from Michigan to Kansas City where I met my husband, and Kathy married and moved to Texas. But we kept in touch through correspondence and eventually both ended up back in our home town.

When they moved to Arizona and her husband went ahead to find a job and a house, Kathy and her three boys stayed with us for a week. A few years later, when we made the same move, our family stayed with them for two weeks until we found a house.

It has been said that “small minds discuss people; average minds discuss events; and great minds discuss ideas.” Kathy and I talked about all three—the latest news of family, school and church friends; current events; and our philosophy of life. I remember both of us standing in the aisle of a local discount store loudly discussing the inequities of income tax laws. (I owned a tax business; she worked for the Internal Revenue.) Well read, she always backed up her opinions with facts.

But now our friendship was going to be put to the test. After months of dreaming and planning, we had boarded a plane at Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport that would take us to the British Isles for two weeks. Would our friendship survive eating, sleeping, and touring together for this period of time? I had wondered. Now it looked like my fears were warranted.

At the end of the trip when I shared my worries to Kathy, she looked surprised. “Everything went all right, didn’t it?”

“Well,” I replied, “I had my doubts the first morning.” At her puzzled look, I laughed and explained.

We had arrived in London at 10:30 Sunday morning. Wanting to adapt to British time, we managed to stay awake all day, then went to bed in time to get up and meet our tour group at 7 a.m. That night I discovered two new things about my friend: First, she liked to sleep with the windows open—wide open—no matter how cold it was (and London in September is rather chilly).
Second, she is a morning person while I’m definitely a night owl! I get up around 6:00, but don’t wake up until about 7:00. And I don’t use an alarm as I always hear my daughter leaving for work at this time.

Monday morning came. The shrill clang of the alarm was enough to make me jump, but when I heard the jubilant voice from the bed next to me chirp, “Good morning, Lord! What a beautiful day!” I groaned.

Well, I soon discovered I slept better with windows open, and I ended up agreeing with her each morning, “Yes, Lord, it is a beautiful day!” The trip turned out to exceed both our expectations and, if anything, the two weeks together deepened our friendship. We had shared many things together—school days, spiritual experiences, sicknesses and deaths in our families, and just plain being silly with each other—but watching the other 40 other people in our tour group interact with my friend, I saw a side of her I hadn’t seen before and it has made her all the more precious to me.

Thank you, Kathy, for accepting me for what I am, and for being what you are—even at 5:30 in the morning.

BIO:

Donna Clark Goodrich is a free-lance writer, editor, and proofreader. A native of Jackson, Michigan, she moved to Kansas City, Missouri at the age of 20 to work as secretary to the book editor at the Nazarene Publishing House. Typing a term paper for a seminary student led to her meeting Gary Goodrich, whom she married in 1960. Now residents of Mesa, Arizona, they have three children and two granddaughters. Donna began the annual Arizona Christian Writers Seminar in 1982 which she led for seven years. She has also been instrumental in helping to form Christian writers clubs in many cities. The author of 22 books and over 700 articles and short stories, she is a frequent instructor at Christian writers conferences across the United States. Her greatest love is working with beginning writers and helping them to spread the gospel through the printed page.

Donna’s newest books are: Healing in God’s Time, the story of gospel songwriter Dave Clark who has had 25 songs reach number 1 on the charts (including “Crucified with Christ” and “Mercy Said No”) and A Step in the Write Direction—the Complete How-to Book for Christian Writers.

Do you have a windows-wide-open, 5:30 a.m. friend? One who can teach you how to enjoy life in a brand new way? Do you have a similar girlfriend story to share?

I'm so thankful Donna shared her sweet girlfriend story here in my little space in cyberspace. I'd love to share part of my week with you. Click here to subscribe and join me for a journey that may look much like your own.

Today's post by my guest, Heidi McLaughin will touch and encourage your heart! For over two decades Heidi has been teaching women how to heal their brokenness and unleash their full potential and beauty by connecting with God. She speaks internationally, teaches bible studies, mentors and writes. Heidi and her husband, Pastor Jack, live in the beautiful vineyards in West Kelowna, British Columbia Canada. Heidi’s favorite activity is sitting across from a woman and sharing “heart connection” stories.

Heidi is the author of BEAUTY UNLEASHED: Transforming a Woman’s Soul. Her new book SAND TO PEARLS: Making Choices to Enrich your Life will be released in January, 2011.

Riptide Rescuers

A ringing doorbell late at night is never a good thing. Those were my last thoughts as my pounding heart and jelly legs found their way to my front door. A policeman stood there, hat in hand, and gently said, “Mrs. Conley, your husband died tonight on the basketball floor. You will need to go to the morgue to identify his body; but do not go alone. Mrs. Conley, you will need to call a friend.”

Those words were like a riptide that almost swept me off my feet and sucked me into vortex of murky darkness. I kept hearing, “Mrs. Conley, please call a friend, you can’t do this alone.”

I had only lived in the beautiful city of Kelowna, British Columbia for one year, and my mind was racing for the name of a friend with whom I had developed enough trust, and who would be strong enough to rescue me from this riptide. All of a sudden I knew; I would call Bea. She was a friend I met at a Women’s conference and we had laughed and prayed together. We were delighted to find that we had common values and we both had a zany sense of humor. I knew I could trust her to engage with me in the most tender, painful and raw time in my life. I called and she was by my side within five minutes and never left for five days. She was my rescuer when I had to call my children; when an endless stream of people showed up at my door; when there were no groceries; when I was too weak to drive my car, and when the riptide almost sucked me into blackness. She was being used by God to be His hands and feet and to pour His love onto a heart that had been ripped apart.

Whenever I speak to Women’s groups, I always ask this question, “Do you have a friend you can call at 2:00 in the morning?” We were created for each other to be this kind of a friend. Friends are a crucial, essential part of our lives. Even Jesus needed this kind of friend.

The night before Jesus was to be hung on the cross, He took all his twelve disciples to the Garden of Gethsemane But when He “plunged into an agonizing sorrow” (Matthew 26:37 MSG); He needed his three closest friends; the ones with whom He had learned to trust and share his most tender, intimate moments with.

We all need those kind of friends; the kind that will hold us up when the riptides of life pull us apart. We need to intentionally seek them out, nurture them, love them, accept them, laugh with them and know we can call them at 2:00 in the morning.

As a matter of fact I, believe that there is such great power in friendship, I have devoted two chapters of my next book to this topic. My new book, SAND TO PEARLS: Making Bold Choices to Enrich your Life, will be released in January 2011.

I'm so thankful for Heidi's willingness to share such a difficult time in her life. Life certainly ain't easy! But God blesses us with friends to help us walk through the fun times as well as the difficult days. Do you have a friend who will rescue you from the riptides of life? Do you know THE FRIEND who will stick closer to you than a brother?

I'd love to share part of my week with you. Click here to subscribe and join me for a journey that may look much like your own.

I'm so excited to have Shelley Hendrix as my guest blogger today! Shelley is the founder and teacher of Church 4 Chicks, inc. based in Atlanta, GA. Church 4 Chicks is a ministry devoted to creating and cultivating environments of grace for women of all ages. She is also a conference speaker, author, and TV talk show host. In her own words, Shelley says, "I am an imperfect, can't-get-it-all- together, wife and mom who loves Jesus, is thankful for His grace, and loves being a part of this generation of people who will not settle for religion as we've known it."

Do you ever feel like the “invisible woman?” Do you struggle with loneliness even when surrounded by people? I know all too well what this feels like! In 1997 my daughter Macey was hospitalized at eight months of age. She was only supposed to be there for about four hours; but it turned into almost an entire week. And not one person outside of my family called or paid a visit. I had decided that because of this, perhaps I needed to find a new church. But God had something else in mind...
I recently found something that said, “Study on women reveals that loneliness affects overall health.” There’s another famous study that’s been out for some time now by UCLA which showed the different ways women handle stress and crises compared with men. In the study, and others like it, they pointed out that, for women, not having close friendships can be as detrimental to your health as being overweight or being a heavy smoker. We are actually designed with a biological need for friendship with other women. And because of this design I think we can conclude that God is interested in us having some great friendships!

“You are the God who sees me!” (See Genesis 16:13)

Once I began to consider the fact that if I knew what it felt like to be an invisible woman, there was a good chance there were others who felt the same way. I remember talking to God about my strong feelings of rejection and isolation -- of feeling invisible-- and as I asked him if it was time for me to find a new church home (so I could have friends), He responded by asking me a question. I'll never forget these very clear words from my Heavenly Father: “Shelley, when was the last time you visited someone in the hospital?” With that short sentence He spoke volumes to my heart. God was reminding me that He sees me, and that He sees others as well. No one is invisible to His grace-filled eyes.

I decided to launch out of my comfort zone and to seek out other women who might feel invisible, too, rather than wait for someone to find me. I started off in simple ways. For example, I began writing cards to people who had been absent from my Sunday school class that previous week. I wanted them to know that it mattered to someone that they weren't able to be there and that they were missed. Additionally, I began to seek out women who were new to the area and new to my church. I had no idea how God was going to use this in my life!

A man who has friends must himself be friendly… Proverbs 18:24a NKJV

Friendships developed and then, in 1999, I went through one of the most difficult experiences of my life. But this time I didn't go through it alone. When the storm hit, I was surrounded by friends who could walk through it with me. From that point on, because God saw me and loved me and was gracious to lead me into a new level of maturity, my friendship cup overflows! Yours can, too!

Do you ever feel like the invisible woman? Would you share how you've learned to go beyond yourself and make friends with those who may feel invisible?

I'm so thankful Shelley was so willing to be transparent and share her heart with us today!

I'd love to share part of my week with you. Click here to subscribe and join me for a journey that may look much like your own.

I'm thrilled to have Kristi Stephens share her Girlfriend story in our Girlfriend series. Kristi is a full time wife and mom who loves to teach God's Word through her local church and through her writing. You can find her online ministry at www.krististephens.com (you can also blame Rachel for getting her started in blogging!), and you can also find her writing regularly for www.scripturedig.com.

“A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend; one human soul whom we can trust utterly; who knows the best and the worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults; who will speak the honest truth to us, while the world flatters us to our face, and laughs at us behind our back.” – Charles Kingsley

I have an irreplaceable friend named Rachel.

We have been friends since sometime in junior high, and now we have hit our 30’s and are both wives and moms of young children. We roomed together during college. We have seen each other do some really stupid things – she has seen me at my worst, she has seen me at my best. We have prayed together about needs both big and small. We have wept together at times when it felt like our hearts would just shatter in grief. We have laughed until we thought our sides would literally split open. We live thousands of miles apart now, and she is the only far-away friend that I keep up with on the phone. Rachel knows things about me that no one else seems to understand.

The funny thing is, we really are nothing alike.

Rachel is a nurse who loves sports and politics and history and has participated in a triathalon. She watches ESPN and Fox news. I’m a Bible teacher who couldn’t care less about sports, sometimes forgets to vote, am slowly learning more history with age, and don’t have an athletic bone in my body. I watch Martha Stewart and PBS.

True friendship has very little to do with common interests.

Sometimes I think that this is the reason why Rachel and I have remained close friends for over half of our lives. Our friendship is not built on hobbies or mutual interests. We know each other, and we love each other for who we really are. What we do share is deep respect, a quirky sense of humor, and a desire to know what is important to the other person.

True friendship is not competitive. True friendship does not need to compare and justify and outdo someone else’s story. True friendship is marked by a sense of ease – you are loved, you are safe, you are heard, you are known. True friendship incarnates in our lives the love of God; a love based not on what we receive, but based on a recognition that this person is valuable and precious just for who they are.

A friend like Rachel is a rare treasure – I don’t expect to ever have another friend quite like her. She has helped to form me into a better person. She has helped me to see who I really am. She has taught me how to love like God does.

Do you have a friend that has taught you how to love like God does? Are you still friends with someone you went to school with?

I'd love to share part of my week with you. Click here to subscribe and join me for a journey that may look much like your own.

A Collection of Cute Quotes and Poems About Friendship

Friends
A friend is someone we turn to
when our spirits need a lift.
A friend is someone we treasure
for our friendship is a gift.
A friend is someone who fills our lives
with beauty, joy, and grace.
And makes the whole world we live in
a better and happier place. Jean Kyler McManus

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad. Arnold H. Glasgow

A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out. Grace Pulpit

The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've had. Author Unknown

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you." A.A. Milne

Are we not like two volumes of one book? Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. Elisabeth Foley

The Blessing of a Friend

More than my share of friendships
I've had throughout my life
More than my share of moments
and friends with which to confide

Blessed by those who inspire
And those who challenge my heart
Encouraged by those who are present
Even when we are apart

Friends who cause me to soar
To hieghts I knew not I could reach
Friends who bring me down
When my pride makes too much of me

I'm blessed by friends above measure
Each one a gift from God
Treasures that make life so special
While on this earth we trod. Author Unknown

Do you have a favorite poem or quote about friendship that you'd like to share? Do you have any girlfriends that you would like to share about?

I'd love to share part of my week with you. Click here to subscribe and join me for a journey that may look much like your own.

I felt it was appropriate to start our Girlfriend series with my first real friend. I met her when I was just three. So was she. Tammy and I became inseparable, as did our parents. We went to school together by day and to the ball field by night. She played third base, I played second. Both tomboys to the bone and goofy to the max.

Our moms took us to the same stores, bought us matching coats, matching bicycles and matching notebooks. We laughed together, cried together and sat up late swapping dreams and giving each other advice. We walked through difficult days and weathered storms we wish we never had to face. I did her makeup, she fixed my hair.

At times we both wished we could go our separate ways, but we were bound by our parents bond with one another. Sometimes so thankful for the fetter of our parents' relationship; other times wishing we could brake the chains that held us captive to one another.

Today we're still friends. We don't see each other much, but when we do it's like time somehow stood still and we pick up where we left off - never skipping a beat.

Tammy and I will always be friends - deep rooted in each other's hearts and just a phone call away.

Sprinkled throughout Scripture are friendships that captivate our hearts. Some are obvious. Others, not so much. Tucked ever so neatly and often times sweetly in the pages of holy writ are friendships that surprise us by their presence and challenge our resolve.

In Genesis 7 four men and four women enter the ark. A slew of two of each kind of animal joined them for the ride as the door was shut. We aren't told much about life behind the closed door of the ark, but we know that 4 women shared the same space for over a year.

Have you ever thought about what life was like in a tightly sealed ark with four women? They may have been family, but were they also friends? It would have been one long year and one rough ride if they weren't.

Like my relationship with Tammy - I'm sure they laughed together, cried together, held each other up and let each other down. I'm certain tempers flared and hearts were hurt. Perhaps there were times they wished they could let the door slam behind them as they walked out of a heated argument.

But they couldn't. They were bound together by a door sealed shut and a God who was protecting them. We don't really know what went on inside that boat. But we do know that they shared something unique that bonded them in a way nothing else could.

The time came when the door flew open and they went their separate ways. Yet, somehow I think their hearts were sealed even when the door of the ark no longer was.

Sometimes friends enter our lives, never to leave. Even in their absence, they are somehow always there. That's how my friendship has been with Tammy. She's been a lifelong girlfriend and I love her dearly!

Do you have a girlfriend who is always there for you? One you know you can depend on even though you don't get to spend much time with her? One who has weathered some of the first storms you've ever faced and will be there til the last? Are you that kind of friend to someone else?

I'd love to be part of your week. Click here to subscribe and join me for a journey that may look much like your own.

I'd love the privilege of being part of your week. Click here to subscribe and join me for a journey that may look much like your own. (You won't want to miss our new series on Girlfriends.)


I hope to give you something to think about over the weekend as a prelude of good things to come for our Girlfriends series.

Think back over the years about the friends that have graced the stage of your life. What role have they played? How many are still playing a staring role? How many wait in the wings of your life until you call them to take their rightful place by your side?

Take time to make a list of these sweet girlfriends and ask God if He wants to use you in their lives. Pray over each of them. You may even want to give them a call and see how they are doing. Schedule some time to get together with those who you've unintentionally put on the back burner of your life.

With Thanksgiving on the horizon, perhaps you could begin thanking God for the specific ways they have ministered to you over the years.

I know I have been blessed beyond measure with good, godly girlfriends. Many of them are living definitions of the word "friend." Their lives often remind me of how far I fall short of being the kind of friend I should and could be. They challenge and inspire me to be better.

As you muse over the friends you have been blessed with, remember the One who sticks closer than a brother. He loves you with an everlasting love. He has enscribed you on the palm of His hand. You are the apple of His eye and the object of His affection. And He has chosen to call you friend, sweet sister! He has chosen to call you friend!

"I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." John 15:14

Do you have a friend you are especially thankful for? I'd love to hear about how you've reconnected with someone you've lost touch with or your plans for doing so.

Oh, sweet sisters, I'm so excited about this new series I'm starting here in my little space in cyberspace. The topic is near and dear to my heart and your participation is absolutely necessary to make it all it can be!

I'm starting a journey with some precious girlfriends to talk about what it means to be girlfriends. We'll examine the relationships of some biblical buddies as we look at the good, the bad and the ugly.

I hope our journey will help us learn how to be the best friends we can possibly be. Perhaps it will reveal ways we can filter our friend choices through the eyes of wisdom.

Here's how you can help. I'd love for you to send me your own personal "girlfriend" stories. This is your chance to brag on your friends. Perhaps you can surprise them with the story you send for this series.

You can send your own good, bad or ugly stories, but please be discreet and respectful. If your story leans on the bad or ugly side, you won't want to reveal names. But even those difficult experiences can help us learn how to be better friends - how to laugh and cry together - how to hold each other up and accountable at the same time - how to confront each other with love - how to open our mouths to encourage and zip our lips when necessary - how to forgive completely and love unconditionally.

This journey through biblical girlfriends will help us see our relationships much differently. I hope you will grab a friend and a cup of coffee and join me for this fun and encouraging look at girlfriends.

If you send in a story, please be sure to let me know if you want your name used. I'd like to give you credit, but you may want to remain anonymous. I may have to modify the length of your story for the purpose of space, but the basis of it will stay in tact.

You can send your stories to stephanieshott@me.com.

I hope you will invite your friends to join us. I'd love for them to be part of this sweet time together. Click here to subscribe and send this to your friends for them to subscribe, as well.

"I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you." Isaiah 44:22

As I was seeking the Lord for today's post, I was drawn to this beautiful beckon from the Lord. He does not leave us to continue wandering from the wonder of who He is. He continually calls us back to Himself.

Today, I sensed that this was something I must write. Perhaps someone reading this needs to hear that God sees you. He has not lost sight of you. You have never left His heart or His view. No matter how far you have wandered from His side, He wants you back.

Maybe you have left His presence in lieu of a love that can never fill your heart. Have you chosen the love of a man over the love of God? You know He is not the type of man God would bless you with, yet you're so desperate for love that you are willing to not only settle for much less than God's best, but to chose your relationship with him over your fellowship with God.

Perhaps your wandering heart has been in hot pursuit of fame, fortune, power or prestige. Maybe you're too busy, too overwhelmed, too distracted for God to be the object of your affection - the One you live to know more. Or maybe you aren't even sure what lure your chasing, but you know you are far from precious presence of God and the sweet fellowship you have known before.

Today, sweet sister, He is calling you back. Like the prodigal son, your Heavenly Father will run to you with His arms wide open if you will just begin your journey back to Him

In Isaiah 44:22, the Lord reminds His people that He has completely forgiven them - He beckons them to return to Himself.

As you read this post, maybe you hear the Lord tugging at your heart - "Return to Me." I want to encourage you to do just that. There is absolutely nothing out there that is better than sweet fellowship with our precious Savior.

Don't delay sweet sister. He stands there with His arms wide open ready to welcome every prodigal home.

Maybe you know someone who is wandering in the wilderness of their own desires. Pray earnestly for their soon return. He is a loving Father who longs for them to long for Him once again. So press on in prayer until they run into His loving arms.

Has today's post spoken to your heart? Do you need to run back to God? Do you need to pray for someone who does?

I'd love to be part of your week. Click here to subscribe and join me for a journey that may look very much like your own.