Stephanie Shott

As I casually strolled into the bookstore, scanning the newly inventoried shelves, I was ready to place my order when Kaye looked at me with a whimsical grin on her face and cheerfully announced, "I bought your book." I had no clue what she was talking about. I hadn't even received the first edit yet...how could she have bought my book? My mind began racing, "Oh please tell me they didn't publish it without editing it. How could that be?" I was momentarily in a state of panicked confusion.

Kaye quickly put me out of my misery as she took me back to her office, slid a catalog out of her files and pointed at a book on top right hand corner. There it was, Ecclesiastes: Understanding What Matters Most by Stephanie Shott. I couldn't believe it. My book was already in AMG's catalog! Since I'm a newbie to the writing and publishing world, I had no idea publishers promote several months in advance of production.

After jumping up and down like a giddy little school girl, I couldn't help but reflect on the goodness of God. My excitement wasn't really because my name was found on the bottom of a book, but because I felt as though the Lord had just given me a big hug of confirmation. He certainly does exceedingly, abundantly above all we ask or think!

Later, I found my book was available on Amazon for pre-orders. Amazing! I never really knew why I was writing it and now I'm looking at it on Amazon. Honestly, the way the Lord brought all the pieces of the puzzle together to land this book on the bookshelves, I believe, with all my heart, He will use it to minister to others for His glory. Wow! That's all I want my life to be about...to know Him and to make Him known!

That's the good news.

My emotions quickly took a nosedive when I found out my birthmom has an aggressive form of breast cancer that has spread more quickly than they had originally thought. It's in her breast, lymph nodes, ribs and pelvis. They begin administering a very strong dose of chemo today in hopes of attacking her stage four cancer.

Then, there's my mom whose lung cancer has spread to her adrenal glands and her ribs. She weighs about 110 lbs. She may have lost weight, but she hasn't lost an ounce of spunk. It's sad to know that unless the Lord chooses to heal her, she probably won't make it to her 77th birthday in July.

How is it possible that my birthmom is now traveling down the same road my mom has been on for the past several years. I love them both dearly and my heart breaks for them. I realize I'm a blessed woman to have the love of two wonderful mothers. One who loved me enough to raise me as her own and the other who would look past the pain of rape and choose life for me instead. So, watching them walk through such a painful process at the same time is doubly difficult for me.

So, somebody pinch me. Can it be true that my book is finally making its way to the shelves? Oh God, You are so awesome! You fulfill Your work in us. You establish and confirm the works of our hands. You really do exceedingly, abundantly above all we can ask or think! I trust You.

So, somebody pinch me. Can it be true that both my moms are suffering from cancer? Oh, God, You are still so awesome! Your grace is sufficient. Your peace beyond understanding. Your love never fails. Your mercy is new each morning. You are forever good. You are forever God! I trust You.

Sometimes love is displayed best when it's tested the most. When life, as we know it, seems to be crashing in around us, our opportunity to demonstrate the depths of our love is magnified. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health...til death do us part. That's what marriage is all about.

Today, author and speaker,Suzie Eller, unviels a very personal and captivating story revealing the beauty of love. This truly is a love story that will not only leave you speechless, but will challenge and inspire you to passionately love your spouse.


Berry Mauve or Muted Wine
T. Suzanne Eller (Suzie)
http://tsuzanneeller.com
http://facebook.com/tsuzanneeller
http://twitter.com/suzanneeller

He found me weeping bitterly in the hospital room.

“What’s wrong?” Richard asked, knowing that we both had reason to cry.

In the past forty-eight hours, I learned that I had a cancerous lump in my breast that had spread to my lymph nodes, and there was a possible spot on my brain. We were both thirty-two with three young children.

Richard pulled me tight. Our friends and family had been amazed at the peace that had overwhelmed us. Jesus was our Savior and comfort before I found out I had cancer, and he remained the same after my diagnosis. But it seemed to Richard that the terrifying reality of my situation had finally crashed in on me in the few moments he was out of the room.

“It’s all been too much, hasn’t it?”

“That’s not it,” I held up the hand mirror I had found in the drawer.
Richard looked puzzled.

I had stared in shock at my reflection in the mirror. I didn’t recognize myself. I was swollen. Betadine stained my neck, shoulder and chest and it was too soon for a bath. A tube hung out of my side draining fluid. My left shoulder and chest were wrapped tightly in gauze where I had lost a portion of my breast. My long, curly hair was matted into a big wad.

More than one hundred people had come to see me over the past forty-eight hours, and they had all seen this brown-and-white, swollen, makeup-less, matted-haired, gray-gowned woman who used to be me.

Richard left the room.

Within moments he came back, his arms laden with small bottles of shampoo and conditioner confiscated from the cart in the hall. He pulled pillows out of the closet and dragged a chair over to the sink. Unraveling my IV, he tucked the long tube from my side in his shirt pocket. Then he reached down, picked me up and carried me – IV stand and all – over to the chair. He sat me down gently on his lap, cradled my head in his arms over the sink and began to run warm water through my hair. He washed and conditioned my long curls. He wrapped my hair in a towel and carried me, the tube, and the IV stand back over to the bed. He did this so gently that not one stitch was disturbed.

Next came the mascara, blush, and lipstick…

My husband, who has never blow-dried his hair in his life, dried my hair, the whole while entertaining me as he pretended to give beauty tips. I laughed as he bit his lip, more serious than any beauty-school student as he fixed my hair. He bathed my shoulder and neck with a warm washcloth, careful to not disturb the area around the surgery, and rubbed lotion into my skin.

Then he opened my makeup bag. I will never forget our laughter as he tried to apply my mascara and blush. I opened my eyes wide and held my breath as he brushed the mascara on my lashes with shaking hands. He rubbed my cheeks with tissue to blend in the blush. With the last touch, he held up two lipsticks.

“ Berry mauve or muted wine?” he asked. He applied the lipstick like an artist and then held the little mirror in front of me.

I was human again. A little swollen, but I smelled clean, my hair hung softly over my shoulders and I recognized myself.

I started crying again, this time because I was grateful.

“No, baby. You’ll mess up my makeup job,” he said and I burst into laughter.

During that difficult time in our lives, I was given only a 40 percent chance of survival over five years. That was eighteen years ago. I made it through those years with laughter, God’s comfort and the help of Richard. Last November we celebrated thirty years, and our children (who were in elementary school) are now married and young adults. In fact, I’m expecting my first grandbaby in July!

I will always be grateful that Richard understood what must have seemed like vanity and silliness in the midst of tragedy, and helped me feel like me again.

Everything that I had ever taken for granted had been shaken – the fact that I would watch my children grow, my health, my future. With one small act of kindness, Richard gave me normalcy. I will always see that moment as one of the most loving gestures of our marriage.

I love you, Richard Lee Eller. I always will.

Perhaps Suzie's story of tragedy and triumphant has encouraged you in your own journey. I'd love to hear from you. Maybe you stand in need of prayer. It would be my honor to pray for you.

To learn more about Suzie Eller, her ministries and her books, visit her website at www.tsuzanneeller.com

Marriages tend to get placed under the doormat of the dailies or complicated by chaos. But it doesn't have to be that way. Neglect should never be the norm for our marriages. There are some things we can do to prevent marriage meltdown.

I am honored to have Teri Lynne Underwood share her heart and some practical tips for strengthening our marriages. Teri Lynne is an exceptional speaker and Bible teacher. You can find her wonderful, witty and challenging insight on her webpage www.pleasingtoyou.com.


Today she shares 4 Ideas for Marriage:

Keep It ...

Marriage is hard … and it takes a lot of work. But, I’m learning that much of the work to be done is based on very simple things. For me, I’m working to keep four things at the priority …

Keep it SIMPLE!
Focus on what really matters. Sure I’d like the trash taken out the night before because I’m a planner. But, as long as it’s out before the trash truck comes – does it really matter how long the can has been sitting at the curb? Nope, not a bit! So, instead of focusing on WHEN the trash goes out, I’m learning to focus on being thankful that my husband takes care of that chore.

Keep it SILLY!
Laugh together every day . Learning to see the humor in life has been the best lesson my husband has taught me. Often we laugh at me – I’m pretty quirky and there’s lots to find amusing. But it seems that when we laugh we are more connected and at peace.

Keep it SEXY!
Kiss, hug, touch, often. We never leave the house and rarely leave the room without kissing each other. We hold hands during prayers at church. We curl up together to watch TV. And we hug each other often … especially in front of our daughter. Touch is so important and leads to more touch. I enjoy being touched by my husband and I love to touch him.

Keep it SWEET!
Say nice things to and about each other – daily. Being purposeful about seeing and saying the wonderful attributes of our spouses brings great strength to marriage. We all enjoy being complimented. Making time to be intentional about encouraging and uplifting our spouses is an important component to a strong marriage.

Keep it SPOKEN!
Make sure you discuss problems that arise before they get out of hand. Give compliments generously ~ sometimes behind his back! Speak well of your husband to your children. It's easy at some stages of life (especially the one when we still have young children still in our homes) to give all our best efforts to the various tasks at hand leaving only leftovers for our husbands ... DON'T!

Both my husband and I are blessed to be in families where our grandparents have celebrated their 50th anniversaries and beyond. We have a legacy of long and healthy marriages. But we know those marriages don’t happen by chance. Solid marriages are not simple … they require much effort and sacrifice. But, oh, the rewards!

MAKE time to keep your marriage simple – focus on what really matters!
TAKE time to keep you marriage silly – laugh together!
ENJOY time to keep your marriage sexy – touch and do it often!
CHERISH time to keep your marriage sweet – share kind words with your spouse.
And of course, GIVE time to speaking - good communication is the key to a successful marriage.

It's never to late to make your marriage a priority. Even strong marriages need to be nourished to remain healthy. What about you? Are there some ideas Teri Lynne shared that you need to work on in your own marriage? Do you have any advice for those who are just beginning or struggling in their marriages?

I'm not one who normally carries a grudge, but this time it seemed to jump on me, stick to my heart like slime and an ooze into the wrinkles in my scowling forehead. U-G-L-Y, very ugly. The lines on my face and the words from my mouth revealed the scars on my heart...and it was ugly.

I wasn't sure how to deal with it since it hadn't really been an issue before. I almost thought I was immune to the menacing grip of a grudge. How could childhood incest escape a heart of resentment, yet an argument with my husband could latch hold like a dog who wouldn't let go of his chew toy.

Today's guest blogger, Heidi McLauglin, shares a heartwarming yet practical story of the danger of resentment in a marraige and how to deal with it when it tries to show it's ugly head.

The Resentment Box
By Heidi McLaughlin“

I call it a resentment box”, I told the beautiful, perplexed bride. I quickly
continued speaking as I had a mere seven minutes to say something profound,
inspirational and wise during my niece’s wedding ceremony. I saw my niece, Becky out of the corner of my eye; a vision of elegant, flowing champagne silk,sparkling with sequins and crystals from the top of her exquisite head, to her ballerina toes. There was a radiance about her that exuded fresh, untarnished love. She was marrying her prince charming.

Many of us sigh, put our hand to our chest and brush away a tear as we relive a
fantasy of being in a blissful love relationship. Then comes the reality of broken promises, unpaid bills, missed dinner dates, power struggles and feeling overlooked. Unmet expectations.

I read a shocking statistic that said most divorces are the result of resentment. I can see why; resentment is ugly. It is the re-sensing of offenses; bitter emotions played over and over in our mind until they poison our lives. Because of the hurt or indignation that we have suffered, we feel justified in hoarding this resentment. We hold on to it as it has power; like a missile to be used later. We don’t realize that in the meantime, it is actually slowly killing our marriage and our soul.

We all need a resentment box in our homes, and it needs to stay empty. Instead of throwing our unresolved hurt and anger into the box and allowing it to become a weapon of mass marriage destruction, we must grab our anger and hurt feelings before we even open the lid of the deadly box. Here’s how we can do it:

1. Choose to accept. It was time to recognize and accept that people are prone to be imperfect and make mistakes.

2. Confront. Sometimes there is a problem. Honest, loving conversations, allowing each person to reveal their feelings; brings healing.

3. Know that God is the source of love. We cannot expect other people in our lives to love us and be our savior.

4. Forgive. Now that you recognize the resentment, it is time to deal with it. The only way to heal from resentment is to forgive.

5. Guard. Ruthlessly guard your heart. Do not allow hurt feelings to linger,

Even as I write this I still nod in agreement; this was indeed the best wisdom I
could give to my beautiful, princess Becky. It’s the best wisdom for all of us.

Heidi McLaughlin is a Christian speaker and author. You can visit her website http://www.heartconnection.ca/

What about you...are you struggling with resentment in your marriage? Do you know someone who is? Perhaps you have some advice you could share with the rest of us. I'd love to hear from you.

Good marriages don't just happen, they take work! Not the arduous, labor intensive kind of work, but the mental and emotional kind of dying to self and figuring him out kind of work. They also take time. Not the "you've just got on my last nerve and it's over" kind of time, but the for better or for worse, til death do us part kind of time

Today, guest blogger Penny Zeller, gives us a glimpse of her heart and her life as she shares some encouraging advice on how to enjoy a lifetime of love with the one to whom you said, "I do."

Draw closer to your spouse with these suggestions:

Take time alone with your spouse. You hear this all the time, but do you realize how important it is? Even if it’s lunch once a week or a weekend getaway, time alone without kids is crucial. Swap babysitting days with your closest friends. Be creative!

Take time to forgive. Lon and I have been married 17 years and there have been a few times when we’ve gotten on each other’s last nerve. Are there things that bother you about your spouse? Pray God will help you to forgive. Pray not that God will change your spouse, but that He would change the way you respond to the things your spouse does. Pray you would respond in a God-honoring way and draw upon His grace to do just that!

Take time to be thoughtful. One of Lon’s favorite meals is Stovetop Stuffing. Knowing this, I routinely make it for him. As a writer of Christian romance, Lon shows his love for me by listening to the latest chapter, even if he’d rather be watching a football game! Leave each other notes in the morning or send each other emails in the middle of the day.

Take time for humor. Lon and I love to write humor blogs together about silly happenings in our everyday lives. We also love to save all the clean joke emails we receive then sit and peruse them together. Another idea? Rent a DVD of one of your favorite Christian comedians and enjoy it – just the two of you.

What a precious gift the Lord has given you in your spouse. Take the time to relish your time together – something that will only further cement the love that binds together what God created – marriage.

Do you consider your marriage a close one? Do you have any advice you could share to help strengthen marriages?

You can learn more about Penny by visiting her blog at http://pennyzeller.wordpress.com/

All this talk about love and romance may bring out the warm and fuzzies in the hearts of many, but it leaves a whopping 95,700,000 in the cold. Divorced, widowed, never been married and even those who are now in a relationship comprise this vast number of single adults.

Valentine's Day may be the Holiday of Love, but not everyone has reason to celebrate. For some, they'll find the empty chair at the dinner table an unbearable reminder of a broken marriage and a broken heart. Others will sit silently at their favorite restaurant grieving the loss of the love of their life. Many will gather with family and friends dodging the relentless and patronizingly uncomfortable question, "So, when are you gonna get married?"

Today's guest blogger candidly shares her heart as she allows us to look at Valentine's Day through the eyes of singleness. Rose's story may just change the way you think about the value of love and marriage.

Once again, the holiday of ‘romance’ rolls around and once again there will be no notes, no cards, no flowers. Now, I am not complaining about this season in my life as I know that God has a plan and it is all in His timing, but it did get me thinking of how we can sometimes lose our focus on what love is all about.

There has been a time or two when I have had friends who confided how they had seriously been contemplating leaving their husband (and I am talking women who know the Lord). Their reasons for wanting out are not for the grossly abusive situations one would hope God would understand, but for the same vague reasons of dissatisfaction given for the dissolution of so many worldly relationships.

Being someone who has been divorced for nine years now, I offer a view from the ‘other side’ as food for thought. God was so good to me and saved me soon after my divorce when I was at a very low point. I am thankful for that and have grown more and more every day and every year since then. But one thing has not happened. I still spend Valentine’s alone.

As much as I would love things to be different, it has obviously not been in God’s plan for me right now. I don't plan on going out and finding myself a man on my own? No. Not going to make that mistake again.

When my friends ask me about leaving their husbands, I just ask them, "Are you are willing to live with the consequences of your disobedience to God if you choose what you think you want right now? Or are you willing to give the Godly relationship you have now a chance with unconditional love, that same love that He has shown you?”

I would think the choice would be obvious.

I shared Rose's story because I believe it may help those who are walking through a difficult season in their marriage. Perhaps they could filter their decisions through Rosie's questions and consider the consequences before things go too far.

What about you? Do you know someone who's considering divorce? Are you? I'd count it an honor to pray for you if you are struggling in your marriage?

Maybe you'd like to share your story or some words of wisdom that can encourage those who are barely holding on by a thread. I'd love to hear from you.

I have something to confess. I'm not romantic at all. I know it's strange, but it all seems corny...kind of surreal. Like a musical. People just don't do that in real life. It's not that I don't know what romance is or how to be romantic, it's just that it's not important me. However, I'v decided that I need to try to expand my horizons. It may freak my husband out a little bit, but I thought I'd try to do something romantic for a change.

I have to admit, I had to do a little research, but I came up with 20 tips for a romantic Valentine's Day. I'll start with our annual tradition:

1. Don't Buy a Valentine's Day card. Go to the store together, find one that expresses your heart, show it to each other & put it back. (Kind of a fun, free & quirky way to say "I love you")

2. Candlelight dinner by the fireplace. (Don't forget the chocolate covered strawberries for dessert)

3. Blindfold your husband, take him to the place where he proposed to you and propose to him. Tell him you'd do it all over again.

4. Set up a table & chairs at the beach or park and surprise him with a picnic lunch packed full of your favorite foods.

5. Beginning on February 1st, put a love note inside his lunch or in his wallet every day. On the 14th, write out your plans for that evening explaining how you two are going to spend the evening. He may enjoy the details more than your think.

6. Make reservations to have a couples message.

7. Surprise him with a weekend getaway to a place you've both been wanting to go.

8. Cruise the beach, a country road or meander your way through the shops of a small town.

9. Plan a camping trip in your living room and snuggle by your fireplace. Don't forget the marshmallows.

10. Write a love letter to your husband and have someone read it over the intercom at his job. (O.K. - the romance factor will depend on his personality)

11. Take a train ride together. There's something romantic about eating dinner together in the dining car of a train.

12. Go fishing together. You may not want to put your bait on the hook, but he won't mind doing it for you.

13. Lingerie and rose petals. Need I say more.

14. Dance under the stars. Drive to a somewhat secluded area at night, turn on the radio and dance under the stars.

15. Plan dinner on the rooftop of a building downtown or in a restaurant or museum after it closes. This one may be a little more expensive.

16. Play spin the bottle with your husband. It's o.k. when you're married. :-)

17. Scavenger Hunt Valentine's Day date.Leave clues describing where he is to go next until he finally reaches a romantic restaurant overlooking the water. Then continue to give clues to the next stop (possibly somewhere like rock climbing together-you'll need to provide a change of clothes for him since he'll be dressed up for the date).

18. Rent a classic car for the day. Go to dinner, the theater and dancing. Make a day of it. Just make sure the car is back before midnight so it doesn't turn into a pumpkin.

19. Have a limo pick your husband up from work and meet him at a quaint restaurant overlooking the water or the mountains (something with a view). Enjoy the night being chauffeured around town in style.

20. Plan a trip in a sailboat, a moonlight boat cruise or take your Valentine to the zoo. Many zoos have special Valentine dinners.Just be creative and have fun together.

So, that's the best this unromantic girl could do. How about you? What would you add to this list? How would you improve it?

(Don't forget, we've got several special guest bloggers coming in a few days and I know you won't want to miss them.)

Here we are on our second post on "LOVE" and there's been a great response. I'll be featuring some wonderful guest bloggers who will share their stories &/or advice about building strong marriages that glorify God. You won't want to miss their posts. I'm looking forward to your comments as we seek to encourage women in the marriages. You may write exactly what someone else needs to hear. Each comment will enter you in a drawing to win The Husband Project by Kathi Lipp.

Hearts, flowers and kisses everywhere you turn. It's the season of love. In fact, it's reported that about ten percent of all proposals take place on Valentine's Day. A time to exhibit externally what is felt internally. But what exactly is love? Do we really understand it? Is it a just a feeling...something that makes our hearts flutter and our knees grow weak?



Love is an illusive word that dictionaries define as anything from a warm feeling to strong affection. But is that all it is? Do people make a lifelong commitment to one another based on a warm fuzzy feeling or a strong affection? If that's all it is, then what does love really have to do with a "'til death do us part" kind of marriage?

The answer is...everything. Love has everything to do with it. But dictionaries fall seriously short of defining what love really is. The Bible, however, gives us a very descriptive and detailed definition of what love is by explaining what love does in 1 Corinthians 13.

Here's what love is and what love is not:

Love is patient, Love is kind, Love is not jealous; Love does not brag, Love is not arrogant

Love does not act unbecomingly; Love it does not seek its own, Love is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,

Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but Love rejoices with the truth;

Love bears all things, Love believes all things, Love hopes all things, Love endures all things.

Love never fails!

I'm not sure why the dictionaries struggle so much in their attempts to define love, when the Bible makes it so very clear that it's much more than a feeling. It's what we choose to do. It's what we choose not to do. We choose to be patient and kind. We choose to refrain from arrogance and selfishness.

As we enter the season that we celebrate "Love" it's important to remember that love is more than a feeling, it's a choice. Feelings fluctuate, but we can always choose to love...even when we don't "feel" like it.

I remember being baffled after reading Titus 2 about how the older women are to teach the younger women to love their husbands. We already love our husbands...after all, we married them. Little did I realize that we are human and prone to losing that loving feeling. Sometimes, we're just not feeling the love. So, what do we do?

Perhaps we'd be wise to filter our love for our husbands through the 1 Corinithians 13 "love test." Ask yourself, "Am I being kind?" If not, you are not loving your husband. "Am I acting rude to or holding a grudge against my man?" If so, you aren't loving him.

One of the most profound truths I have ever learned about loving my man is that love is much more than a feeling, it's a choice. That means that even when I don't feel like loving him, I can choose to love him. Feelings come and go, love never fails.

So, what's love got to do with it? Everything...absolutely everything.

What is the most profound truth you have learned about loving your husband? What are some practical ways we can show our husbands that we love them?

In light of the upcoming "Holiday of Love" I thought I'd share some thoughts on marriage in a rather exposed, up close and personal kind of way. So for the next few posts, I'll be talking about love and marriage. During this time, I'd really love to hear from you as you share your story and your views on how to have a strong marriage. Every time you comment on one of these posts, you'll be entered in a drawing for The Husband Project, by Kathi Lipp.

My husband is my best friend. It hasn't always been this way, but after 23 years, I can say we're more in love now than the day we said "I do." Marriages seldom come neatly wrapped in conflict free packages and our's is no exception. Polar opposites with different passions and pursuits, our only real common denominator has been Jesus. And to be honest with you, He's been the glue that's kept this marriage together when our hearts were weary with each other.

Like a great pound cake, there are certain ingredients that are absolutely necessary for it to be successful. Today, I'd like to share a few we've learned over the past 23 years. It's not a comprehensive list and I'm not listing them in any particular order, I'm just writing them down as spontaneously as they come to my mind. Perhaps you can relate to some of them, or maybe you will see your need to implement a few. You may just want to add some of your own. If so, I'd really love to hear from you.

1. Laugh Together - Laugh at each other; laugh at yourself; laugh at your circumstances...but whatever you do...laugh together. There's a wonderful bonding process that takes place when your jaws and your bellies hurt together. You may just have to quit taking yourself so seriously to do it, but look for the absurd, crack yourself up, prank each other, watch comedies together...do whatever you have to, but laugh together. Think about it, when's the last time you saw a couple laughing their way to divorce court.

2. Respect One Another - Aretha Franklin is famous for the familiar song, "Respect"...All we're asking...is for a little respect. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. They may be cute lyrics in a song, but respect is a basic human need...especially in marriage...especially for a man. Our husbands not only want our respect, they really need it. I honestly believe the Proverbs 31 woman's husband found himself sitting at the gate because his wife believed in him. She supported him, she encouraged him, she respected him. A wife's respect can bolster a man's courage and confidence and give him strength to fulfill his potential. A husband's respect for his wife fosters security and assures her that he values her thoughts, her efforts and her opinions. Strong marriages require a mutual respect.

3. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - We've spent more time than I'd like to admit arguing over things that really didn't matter in the grander scheme of things. Our differences were often the spark that started the fire, but our immaturity seemed to keep it ablaze. Does it really matter if he folded the towels wrong? Is it such a big deal that he thinks surfboards make great wall decorations? It's funny how we find ourselves deep in battle and all of a sudden realize we don't have a clue what we're arguing about. There's no sense in making a big deal over little issues. In fact, when your small issue becomes a mountain-size argument, it would be a good idea to employ #1 and just laugh together instead.

These are just a few steps on our way to maintaining or regaining that loving feeling, but I'd like to hear from you. How do you keep your marriage strong? Share your story and encourage others. I'd love to see this blog on "Love" help to strengthen someone's marriage because you shared!

In my next blog we'll talk about what love is, and what love is not. We'll also cover the coveted concept of submission. You may be surprised by what it really means to submit. :-)